LP 1 · SIDE A
A1The Electricity In The Air Before A Good Siege
A2Larping At The Blind Guardian Concert
A3Orc Blade Plunged Deep Into Elvin Flesh
A4Gollum Was A Crack Baby
A5The Witch That Lives In The Trees
A6The Water Temple Can Suck My Ass
A7Crowdfunding To Buy Myself Chainmail
A8Drawn And Quartered Varg Finally Dies
A9Going For A Hike And Finding A Black Metal Promo Shoot
A10Cursed Dagger Of Lee-Hon-Tuc
A11My Blade, My Honor, My Suffrage
A12Thine Torch Igniting The Ceremonial Fireworks
A13M'Lord Is Medieval For Daddy
A14I Got Roasted By A Guy Wearing A Fedora At A Ren Fair
A15Masturbating To The Elves In Skyrim
A16Smallsword // Smallerdick
A17Lack Of Basic Hygiene Doesn't Make You A Viking
A18Stabbing The Winner Of Varg's Tabletop R.P.G.
A19Calling Your Mother's Basement Your Dungeon
A20Sexual Fantasy Involving An Orc And A Dwarf
A21Frolicking Naked In The Trees Because You're A Wizard
A22Frolicking Naked In The Trees Because You're A Wizard
A23Ishan Before He Thought He Was In Dream Theater
A24Mayhem: A Career Made On Two Corpses
A25Bigsword //Mircoscopicpenis
A26That Feel When Good Siege
A27I Liked Harry Potter Better When He Was In Troll
A28Using Black Magic To Get Myself A Date
A29Leading The Charge
A30Into The Mines Of Moria
A31I Live In A Hut In The Woods With Ildjarn
A32I Can't Wait For The Lords Of Noisecore To Put A Hit Out On Me
A33Using Flash During A Black Metal Show To Ruin The Ambiance
A34Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds
A35I'm From Texas, I Don't Know What Winter Is
A36You Smell Like An MMO Player
A37It's Not Caps Lock, IT'S KVLT LOCK, DIPSHIT!!!
A38I Was Born In The Wrong Time, I Want To Lead A Crusade
A39Leading A Medieval Campain To 711 For Mountain Dew
A40Beating Up Nerds Outside Of A Kamelot Concert
A41Dungeon Synth, Trve Incel Music
A42Graveland's Instagram Sharing Star Wars Memes
A43Rob Darken Looks Like My Grandma
A44Getting Lyrical Themes From Runescape
A45Ildjarn Is A School Teacher
A46Mortiis Looks Like A Digimon
A47Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan
A48The Trees Tell Me Many Things, Like Where To Score PCP
A49This Rock In The Forest Looks Like A Member Of A Boston Punk Band
A50Chainmail Protects Me From Blades, But Not Your Insults
A51Bringing A Sword To A Punk Show To Scare Poseurs
A52Dear Knight I Commend Thine Skullet
A53Eating From Yee Olde Pizza Carte
A54Forgotten Forest Path Leading To A Meth Lab
A55Spell Book Containing A Couple Of Spells
A56Satan Is M'Lord
A57Hanging Out With My Fellow Incels At The Iced Earth Concert
A58Christopher Lee's Power Metal Band
A59Drunkenly Slogging Around Demanding People Drink Your Potion
A60My Dear, Sweet, Combat Alchemist
A61The Power Of The Full Moon Charging My Boner
A62My Huge, Heathen, Maypole
A63I Am A Wizard And My Magic Is Meth
A64I Work At Medieval Times To Get Drunk On Mead
A65Peasants Who Think Burzum Is Good
A66Nobles That Know Ildjarn Is Truth
A67Going From Punk To Pissing Cave Dweller
A68True Crime Songs Are Fucking Stupid
A69Faust From Emperor Is Free To Kill Again
A70That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator
A71Intro (Into The Pantheon Of Friendship)
A72My Friend Nick Is The Textbook Definition Gentile Giant And Is A Very Good Boy
A73Joseph Is A Very Patient Person Who Writes Very Good Music
A74My Friend Ryan, Beat Me For An Art Scholarship, Because He's A Better Artist Than Me
A75My Friend Libby, The Motorcycle Mom To All The Young Punks
A76Danny From Austin Who Told Me I'm His P. White To His Billy Quizboy
A77Danni Who Does Really Good Tattoos, Like The Mace On My Arm
A78My Friend Life, Who Likes War Metal And Is Going To Beauty School
A79My Friend Blake Who Once Demanded I Stop In A Town Called Cumming
A80My Friend Wad Who Once Helped Me Make Knifechucks
A81Texas Mike, Who Doesn't Live In Texas, But Loudly Tells Me He Loves Me
A82I Have A Friend Named Liam Who Makes Black Metal And People Call Him Piss
A83My Friend Erica Who Makes Really Cool Art And Screams A Lot
A84My Friend Alican Who Is The Smartest Idiot I Know
A85My Friend Emma, Who Is Going To Make A Pornogrind Band About Killing Incels
A86My Friend Lauren, A Smolbean Who Shreds The Bass
A87My Friend Hodge, Who Plays Drums Very Good And Very Calmly
A88Reese, Or Ross, Who Plays Scape And Fronts A Death Metal Band
A89My Friend Donovan Is A Gear Encyclopedia And A Very Good Boy
A90My Friend Kimberly, Noisecore Queen
A91Dunny, The Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Man Who Is Very Handsome
A92My Friend Joose Who Is Really Funny
A93Slade, A Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence
A94Todd, Another, Very, Very Nice Boy Who Plays Powerviolence
A95Allin Who Left America To Study Something They Really Enjoy Writes Really Cool Music
A96My Friend Derik Is A Hobbit And A Good Boy
A97My Friend Larry, A Part Time Weeb, Full Time Small Business Owner
A98My Friend Gus Who Is Way Tougher Than I Will Ever Be
A99My Friend Hannah Costillo Who Takes Pictures Really Good
A100My Friends Ian, Olivia, Jordan And Gabe Are All Very Nice And Have A Great Band Named Warm Bodies
A101My Friend Billy Who Is My Twin And Has A Really Good Band Named Bib
A102Rocha, Who Makes Scary Music But Has A Heart Of Gold
A103Uncle Rob, Who Is An Absolute Treasure
A104I Have A Friend Named Taylor Vinson Who Is Really Funny, But Ate At A Texas In N Out
A105My Friend Caroline Is The Reason I'm In This Stupid Shit And Alive
A106Jake Garlick, He Plays Nasty Guitar Really Good And He Can Skate
A107Simon Who Watches Very Well Made Movies And Plays Drums Very Well
A108My Friend Erica Salazar Who I Miss But I'm Hoping Is Doing Well In Seattle
A109My Friend Savannah Has A Cool Job Working For People Who Book Cool Shows
A110My Friend Jackson "Burnout" Boyd And I Once Went On A Goregrind Date
A111Andy, Sometimes Billy, Is A Hurricane And A Good Boy
A112My Friend Parker Puts Themselves Down A Lot Despite How Talented They Are
A113My Friend Carroll, The Lone Cowpunk And A Good Fishing Guide
A114My Friend Sam Claims She's Very Jarring But Is A Very Nice Person
A115Outro (The Gates Of Friendship)
A116Thieves Of Sunshine (Lethal Enforcers Of The Night)
A117Suicide Involving A Noose Made Of Piano Wire, Gorilla Gluing My Hands To Head And Yelling How FUCKING MAD I AM
A118Fucking Weeb Scum Who Blast NSBM Nightcore Covers While Spanking It To Hentai
A119How Do You Like My Carcass Rip-off Art For My Gorenoise Ep?
A120Andre Chicatilo Was A Sick Fuck Who Ate His Victim's Genitals
A121Alferd Packer Is Having A Schpadoinkle Day In Hell For Eating 5 Of His Companions In The Mountains
A122I Sure Do Love Roadside Barbeque In Texas, Especially When Its Made Out Of People
A123Trying To Make Zombie Sex Slaves By Drilling Into Their Brains
A124Cannibal Corpse Subliminally Convinced Me To Eat My Friend's Brain, It Wasn't As Good As They Said It Would
A125William, I Have But One Setting And It Is Go
A126I'm Going To Dig Up John Lennon's Abuser Corpse And Show It The Abuse It Deserves
A127Bring John Lennon Back To Life So I Can Kill Him Again
A128What Rich People Google: How Many Pounds Of Truffle Can I Fit Into My Ass
A129Yesterday When I Was In The Shower, I Cupped My Hands, And Peed Into Them. I Sat There Holding 8 Ounces Of My Own Pee
A130I Looked At It, Felt Its Warmth, And Then Unclasped My Hands As I Watch The Golden Liquid Flow Down The Drain
A131I Thought What If... What If I Would Have Drank That Pee?
A132Gold Is The Colour Of Gold But Also "Pee Pee"
A133Six Dudes Hanging Around A Car With The Hood Up... Ain't Nothin' Better
A134Ah... A Nice Glass Of Piss
A135Aw, Pikachu Shat On The Carpet Again!
A136Can't Wait For The Future And Mail Order Lsd
A137Need To Make Some Quick $$$... If You Are Interested In Purchasing An Old Wall In China Hmu
A138Youtube Channel That Only Uploads Off-brand Battery Reviews
A139Sorry Tim Heidecker But It's Time For The Real King Of Comedy To Take Back The Throne... Jeff Foxworthy!!!!
A140Tim Heidecker Vs Me, Trapped In A Restaurants Kitchen While A Grease Fire Burns Out Of Control
A141Tim Heidecker: Your Days Are Numbered, My Man!
A1423 Hour Ted Talk Hosted By Yours Truly Where I Just Make Mouth Noises
A143Drawing Dicks In The UPS Signature Field
A144I Think Jethro Tull Would Be Interesting Opponents In A Fight
A145Petition: Replace The Faces Of Those Guys On Mt Rushmore With The Freebird Lyrics
A146I Smoked The Government Weed And I Can't Sleep, I Can't Stop Thinking About Mars!
A147100 Likes And I Will Get A Crucified Skinhead Tattoo
A148A Video Game Where You Play As Steve Buscemi
A149Taco Bell Sponsorship
A150Larry David Sex Tape
A151Crucified Skinhead But It's Gumby
A152Mark Zuckerberg Has A Controlling Share In Youth Attack Records
A153Who Up I Got A Box Of Dr Pepper
A154Had A Dream I Met An NFL Player And I Begged Him To Kill Me
A155I Miss Texas And I Miss Sweet Tea
A156Adam Sandler But With A British Accent
A157Spiderman's Balls
A158Cowboy God Has Made A Decision... Pineapple Must Remain On Pizza
A159Take It Easy By The Eagles
A160Repent You Sinners And Become COWBOY
A161God Is Returning In Half Of An Hour... Cowboy God
A162I'd Like To Have A Cage Match With Alton Brown
A163Double Click Here To See Magic
A164Just Walked Up To Cale Weir In Public, He Was High And Listening To Tiger Army
A165Ask Me About Burst Pipes
A166Mass Sterilization Caused By Poopoo And Peepee
A167My Idea Of Heaven Would Be Listening To Country And Western Music With My Gpa Forevr
A168Subway Sandwiches Buffet
A169A Pizza Place Run By Skinheads
A170I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass (I'm Lifting Weights As I Post This)
A171Martial Artists Breaking Planks But The Planks Are Replaced With Casio Keyboards
A172A Cap With A Hole For People To Show Off Their Bald Spots
A173All Bald People Are Skinheads
A174I Wonder What Pisspiggranddad Is Doing Right Now
A175A Vegetable Called Jetpack
A176Has Anyone Made Pillows That Look Like Butts Yet
A177Two Nude Musclebound Men Chasing Each Other Around A Junkyard Shooting Each Other With Dollar Store Water Guns
A178I Need To Clone Myself Five Times So I Can Fulfil My Dream Of Owning And Operating A Chain Of 6 24/7 Gas Stations
A179Pumping Iron To The Sopranos Theme Song
A180I Am Hungover And I Am Fucking Manic
A181Last Night I Got Banned From Metro (The Supermarket) For Opening And Eating Three Cans Of Cold Staggs Chili In The Store
A182If I Shit My Pants Would My Boss Let Me Go Home Early
A183Last Night God Came To Me In The Form Of Liam And He Said "Wanan Maybe Hanmg Out"
A184Tom Cruise Is The Shadow President And A Member Of The Deep State
A185Welcome To My Shop Where I Sell Fresh Sweet Corn And New Video Game Releases
A186"Cro Mags Full Album" Tatted Across My Stomach A La "Thug Life"
A187Nike Sneakers In Camo Making Me Really Horny
A188Woke Up With The Fresh Smell Of A Hoagie Near By And A Morning Has Never Been So Complete For Me
A189I Just Wanna Noodle Catfish And Shit In An Outhouse
A190Gonna Open Up An Eyebrow Place Called "The Big Lebrowski"
A191Who Else Is Soaked And Sitting In A Leather Chair At Work
A1929/11 Truther In The Streets, Infowarrior In The Sheets
A193Bust Three Nuts Today: Two For The Towers, One For The Pentagon
A194This Divine Blade Gifted To Me From The Goddess, Liliana, Will Protect My Virginity At All Costs
A195That Guy From Anal Cunt Neither Feared Or Respected That Escalator
A196The Harsh Stench Of Mountain Dew On The Incel's Breath
A197I Can't Wait For Jerkbooth To Make Fun Of Me Again
A198Billy From Omaha Is A Very Good Boy
A199Waylen Jennings Is Better Than Any Of Your Dumb Ass N.Y.H.C. Clone Bands
A200I Had To Find A Virgin To Sacrifice, So At The Stroke Of Midnight I Raided The Local Gamestop
A201I Don't Know If This Morning's Taco Bell Diarrhea Sounded More Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals
A202Spay Or Neuter Your Retro-thrasher Today
A203Dream Theater Concert, Aka Incel Pride 2018
A204Twister Is The Best Movie Ever Written, If You Disagree You're Fucking Stupid
A205Brogaze Played By The Chillest Of Brogazers
A206That Time I Convinced Some Bros That A.C.A.B. Means A Chill Ass Bro
A207Claiming Your Identity Is Asexual When You're Just An Incel
A208Remember When You Said Punk Would Be Great Again Under Trump? You Lied To Me.
A209The Deep And Eldritch Sorcery That Will Befall You If You Dare Call Me Fag Again
A210Only The Trvest Of Satanists Set Up Their Dungeons In Their Mom's Garage
A211I'm Just An Ugly Homo (Who Plays In A Noisecore Band)
A212Glen Benton Pussied Out Of Killing Himself
A213I'd Rather Listen To Dream Theater Than Another Band That Sounds Like Fucking Gag
A214Using Arcane Necromancy To Revive Cliff Burton To Finally Solve The Lars Problem
A215The Hardest Part Of Being A Dungeon Synth Fan Was Telling My Parents That I'm A Gay Goblin
A216Antichrist Kramer Is Going To Fight Neckbeard Deathcamp
A217I Showed You My Youth Attack Collection, Please Respond
A218My Friend Bald Larry Plays D&D, Listens To Power Metal And Still Goes On More Dates Than Me
A219My First Band, FxCxPx, Was An Abomination Before God And A Failure
A220The Beautiful, Cold Winter Night That Froze My Balls Off And Made Me A Eunuch
A221Magic The Gathering Of The Juggalos
A222Satan Is M’Lord II: Daddy Krampus
A223I Liked Dave Mustaine Better When He Was On Heroin
A224I Will Die Upon The True Altars Of Madness, Cici's Pizza, As My Body Dissolves From The Grease
A225Chanting "Make Him Cum" During The Witching Hour Only Summoned A Cop To Issue Us A Noise Complaint
A226Long Sleeved, Four Sided Dream Theater Awake Shirt To Attract All The Prog Babes
A227Razorbumps Is Playing Cochella; Thats The Joke
A228I'm Glad Denton Free Jazz Musicicans Fucking Hate Me Now
A229If I Wanted To Watch Some Dude Jerk It For 20 Minutes I'd Use Chatroulette Instead Of Going To The Skronk Show
A230I'm Glad Jesus Chris & The Beatles Broke Up
A231Cleric Got Sponsored By Hair Care Products
A232Oh God Fucking Dammit Not Another Band With Parker Lawson In It
A233Flat Earth Guy Is The True Hero Of North Texas
A234Creeping Death Will Never Be A Real Death Metal Band Until They Cover Good Sepultura
A235Burning An Anal Cunt Tape Upon The Altar Of Homosexuality As An Offering To The Lords Of Noisecore
A236Infernal Legions Of Mordor Is CANCELLED!!!
A237Dead Hobbit 1
A238Dead Hobbit 2
A239Dead Hobbit 3
A240Dead Hobbit 4
A241Dead Hobbit 5
A242Dead Hobbit 6
A243Dead Hobbit 7
A244Dead Hobbit 8
A245Dead Hobbit 9
A246Message From Mayor Joose Banks 1
A247Dead Hobbit 10
A248Dead Hobbit 11
A249Dead Hobbit 12
A250Dead Hobbit 13
A251Dead Hobbit 14
A252Dead Hobbit 15
A253Dead Hobbit 16
A255Message From Mayor Joose Banks 2
A256Just Another Day Of My Meat Coffin Rotting On This Punishment Orb
A2576669 Songs About How I Wanna Fight James Labrie
A258Big Iron (Marty Robbins Cover)
A259Lodged In The Throat, Disintegrated, Regurgitated
A260The Daylight Really Makes You Notice The Blood & Feces
A261Introduction: Will It Scrobble?
A262Charles Fucking Knowles
A263Skronk Sucks
A264I'm Essential
A265Playing A Wrathful God In Sims 4
A266Essential Run To The Grocery Store For The New Flavor Of Mountain Dew
A267We're All Shitposters Now
A268Shooting Artsy Nudes On Cinestill 800 Because You're A Fucking Dumb Ass
A269We Totally Won The Battle Set With Two Knights
A270Too Punk For The Noise Crowd, Too Noise For The Punks
A271From Top Fan To Band Member; The Rhys Johnson Story
A272Simon
A273Crankin' Hog
A274Using Longmont Potion Castle Threats On Telemarketers
A275April 2020, Far From The Vibe We Thought 4/20 Would Be
A276You Do Not Need An AR-15 You Dumb Sack Of Fuck
A277Beefy Five Layer Burrito, No Beans, Grilled, Add Nacho Fries
A278Hey Fuck You, Fuck You Rei Clone
A279Cici's Delivers Now
A280Tom Nook Is The Only Good Capitalist
A281Comin' On Down There With My Bull Whip And Goin' Wha-pah!!
A282Morbid Angel And Bolt Thrower Are Fucking Boring
A283I May Be Ugly, But I Own A Carved Cross Demo You Fucking Peasant
A284Remember When We Were A Meme Page?
A285Imran Being Late
A286Busting A Depression Nut Just To Feel Something
A287Why, Yes, I Do Have Plenty Of Shit-Tickets
A288Being A Sword Guy Is A Personality Right?
A289Where Is Texas Mike Now When We Need Him The Most???
A290Shaving Your Head Is A Side Effect Of COVID-19
A291The Band Called Upsetting. That's The Joke.
A292One Of The Owners Of Freaks & Geeks Made An Infernal Legions Of Mordor Shirt In Animal Crossing
A293Yeah, I Watch Anime, But I'm Not A Fucking Weeb Like Rei Clone
A294Simon II: Simon Liked Your Post
A295Amos From Tenement Likes Raising Caine's & Aerosmith
A296Give Me Back Recycled! You Can Have Lsa! Just Give Me Back Recycled!!!
A297We're A Hot, Discogs Flipping Commodity Now
A298A Joke About The Dog Episode Of Fullmetal Alchemist
A299A Rei Clone Sucks Joke
A300A Song About How The Oil Spill EP Slaps And How Rei Clone Still Sucks
A301I Survived The Days Of Egg Punk For This???
A302Unbelievably Unhorny
A303Jazz Fusion Assbeaters By The Band Called King Crimson
A304Broke Panic Buying; Toilet Paper. Woke Panic Buying; A Pound Of Carne Asada
A305Finally Learning Magik To Curse Charles Fucking Knowles
A306Idk What My Favorite Denton Cryptid Is; Miles From Two Knights Or Honorable Mayor, Joose Banks
A307Name Your First Release Something Other Than Demo You Dumb Ass
A308Gimme Yer Teeth
A309Simon III: When Will He Post His July 4th Pics?
A310Because, Life Without Class, Isn't Life Worth Living
A311I Was A Teenage American Picker
A312Heaven En Esparta
A313Brainbombs Nightcore
A314I'm Quarantined So I Don't Nuke Rei Clone's Ass
A315Veteran Of The Shit-Ticket Wars
A316One Million Dead Oogles (Snob Cover)
A317Cowboy Night
A318Lawful Cannibalism
A319Eating The Rich Is Vegan
A3201984 Jeep Honcho
A321Revoking Top Fan Badges Of Fucking Losers On The Infernal Legions Facebook
A322I Must Shit, But I Have No Ass
A323Some Might Say I Have Too Much Ass
A324April April Its Fucking April
A325I Just Lost The Game
A326Ihsahn Wearing A Turtleneck Sweater
A327We Are The Premiere Gorenoise Band From Denton
A328Why Should I Get Bummed That People Who Enjoy 100 Gecs Don't Like Me, They've Shown Their Lack Of Taste
A329Hey, You Missed Our Set
A330Introduction: A Warm And Erect Genitalia
A331Aggressive Rock
A332I'm Really Glad Seth Putnam Is Dead
A333Cave Dwelling Dungeon Synth Fan
A334Cranking Hog In Rhythm With Fragile By Yes
A335Oh Good God He's In A Floyd Hole!!!!
A336Out Of The Depths Of The Toilet
A337Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser
A338Razorbumps Played Coachella, Thats The Joke / Outro
LP 1 · SIDE B
B1Introduction; The Calm And Ethereal Morning. The Time Before The Carnage
B2The First Arrow Flies At The Crack Of Dawn
B3The Coppery Taste Of Blood After The First Kill
B4Blade Plunged Deep Into Yielding Flesh
B5666 Dead Cultists
B6Pile Of Dead Bodies Arranged In A Blasphemous Manner
B7Sacrifice Under The Perfectly Aligned Stars
B8A Siege Lasting 6 Days And 9 Hours
B9Standing Atop A Pile Of My Dead Enemies
B10Blade Forged Specifically To Kill
B11Gutting The Foul Orc Who Killed My Brother
B12A Cave Full Of Kobolds
B13Another Cave To Forge Potions Within
B14Malevolent Floating Skeleton
B15Ancient Evil Rising From Its Crypt
B16A Coven Of Witches Harvesting Vampyric Fluids
B17What Do You Have To Barter With?
B18Little Gremlin That Is Hard To Keep Track Of
B19Cursed By The Shining Wizard
B20A Dark Night To Perform Arcane Sorcery Under
B21Sounds Of Their Screams Mingled With The Burning Of The Land
B22Kingdom Uprooted From Its Home
B23Under A Malediction Of An Ancient Warlock
B24Crazed, Bloodthirsty Troll Rises Above The Hill
B25Death Will Come To All The False
B26Effigy Made From Human Sacrifices
B27A River Of Blood Runs Free
B28Final Spell Cast As The Evil Wizard Is Slain
B29Recharging My Crystals
B30Under The Highest Arc Of The Eclipse The Sacrifice Begins
B31Mating Call Of The Blood Orc
B32Ode To The Fallen Warrior
B33Rusty Blade Found In The Bottom Of A Lake
B34Beheading The Tyrant King
B35Intermission: Counting The Dead Before The Second Wave Surges
B36A Cloak Made From The Scalps Of Those Whose Lives My Blade Extinguished
B37Severed Head Babbling The Final Incantations
B38The Hill I Will Die Upon
B39As The Fog Lifts, I See The Unholy Hordes Advancing
B40Teleported To The Land Of The Dead
B41Hovering Lifeless, The Corpse Speaks In The Language Of The Old Ones
B42Entering The Husk Of The Giant To Consume It's Heart
B43Legions Of The Night
B44Magik Cloak Concealing The Sacrificial Dagger
B4513 Black Candles Arranged In An Array
B46Blood Alchemy
B47Ritual Committed At The Top Of A Mountain
B48The Finest Steel Made By Blood Elves
B49Following The Light Of The Stars
B50Flail Crashing Through The Skull Of An Orc
B51Fiery Pentagram Beckoning
B52Solitude In My Fortress
B53Human Flesh Sopping Beneath My Feet
B54The Haunted Remains Of An Ancient Castle
B55Deep Within The Catacombs Of Div-e Sepid
B56Hunted By The Captives Of The Devilwitch
B57Sword Encased In Stone Carrying An Ancient Curse
B58That Which Lurks Within The Waters
B59The Winds Softly Sings It's Carrion Tune
B60Red Glow Of The Eldritch Sunrise, The Last Thing I Will See
B61Her Shield, Forever Stained Crimson
B62Malevolent Forces At Work
B63Hooded Figures, Lying Dead Inside Of A Scorched Circle
B64The Grave Comes For Us All
B65Petrified By The Rising Sun
B66Foul Potion Filled With The Morning Dew From The Northside Of A Mountain
B67Teleporting To A New Location To Launch A Subsequent Spell
B68Holy Shit I Can't Believe We Got CBN To Do A Split With Us
B69Conclusion: Light Pollution From Funeral Pyres On Low Hanging Clouds As The Storm Gathers
B70Introduction: The Disgusting Stench Of Burning Feces That Is Being Prepared To Be Catapulted Into The Castle As The Siege Commences
B71I Own Guns To Protect Myself From Code Orange Fans
B72Q Did 3/11
B73I'm Gonna Fight Lars Ulrich
B74Dfw Metal Mayhem Is Mad I Made Fun Of D&D, So I'm Gonna Do It Again (D&D Is Dumb)
B75The Fountain Is A Really, Really, Really Bad Movie
B76Straight Edge Hardcore Dudes Harm Women And Everyone Ignores It So They Can Keep Playing Mediocre Guitar Riffs
B77My Favorite Part Of Punk Is The Only Time I Hear From My "Friends" Is When They Want Something From Me
B78God Forbid, Hardcore Kids Do Anything Aside From Hardcore! What Posers!
B79Colton From Reanimated Miscarriage Is Going To Come To Texas And Fight Me
B80How Can I Be A Narcissist When I Look Like This
B81I Asked If My T-bell Diarrhea Sounded Like Carcass Or Impetigo Vocals, When It Was Closer To Demilich Vocals
B82Balding And Fucked
B83My Life Hasn't Been The Same Since I Got A Gandalf Hat
B84I'm Gonna Fight Gene Simmons
B85This Years Tornado Season Will Be The Midwest's Punishment For Egg Punk
B85Sacrifice Lumpy If You Want To Avert This
B86Take The Time By Dream Theater
B87My Dangly Earring Is A Personality Trait Right?
B88What Is This Venue's Sword Policy?
B89Dallas Metal Dudes And Their Collective Poop Fetish (The Ballad Of Eatin' Like A Big Fella)
B90Face It, You're In An Egg Punk Band
B91If I Wanted An Angry Italian Man To Yell At Me, I Would Go To A Sub Shop Instead Of The Hank Wood Show
B92Where Does Target Keep Their Noise Tables?
B93Punk Time Is Dead And It Is Buried In My Back Yard
B94Being Gaslit For My Hatred Of Raising Caines
B95Goatmoon Is Just Racist Wintersun
B96Opeth Is What Would Happen If You Made A Heavy Metal Harry Potter And Also Bad
B97Unprecedented Levels Of Dipshittery
B98Infernal Legions Of Mordor, The Pawn Stars Of Noisecore
B99I'm Gonna Fight Jimmy From Youtube
B100Playing Hacked Up For Barbeque By Mortician Is Work Appropriate, Right?
B101I Payed A Guy At A Ren Faire To Roast My Hobbit And Now My Hobbit Won't Go To The Ren Faire
B102Support Local Business, Especially When They Allow Me To Bring My Sword In
B103That Guy From Blood Incantation Looks Like A Scifi Writer Driven Insane By The World He's Created
B104How Many Times Will Bone Sickness Follow And Unfollow Me On Instagram
B105My Combat Alchemist In The Parking Lot Of An Egg Punk Fest Expelling A Bad Potion
B106Dallas Grindcore People Telling Us We Need To Play A Longer Set
B107That Feel When James LeBrie Say "Carpe Diem, Seize The Day"
B108Razorbumps Is A Rockabilly Band, Prove Me Wrong
B109Hey, The Firefly Jayne Replica Hat Stays On During Sex Okay???
B110Ending Friendships Over Catan Trade Embargoes
B111I'm Into Cynic And Atheist So You Could Say I'm A Bit Of A Jazz Fan
B112Rick And Morty Shirts Are The New Fedora
B113Hot Boxing Your Straightedge Friend With CBD
B114Only Two Whole Years Until The Next Season Of Venture Bros (This Did Not Age Well)
B115Writing Off A Six Month Sword-Making Apprenticeship As A "Business Expense" On My Taxes
B116Listen, Not Every Dumb Ass Statement You Make Has To Be A Song Title, And That's The Song Title
B117Straightedge Noisecore War Commando
B118Kommand Was Better When They Were Called Hoax
B119I Now Play This Card To Retain My Virginity
B120Mountain Dew Where Is My Sponsorship
B121Shitposting Songtitles From This Lp On Facebook When I'm On The Clock At Work
B122Without Hesitation I Will Punish You About How And Why You Should Be Watching Venture Bros
B123"Walk This Way" Is The Worst Fucking Song
B124A.M.A.S. (All Men Are Simps)
B125My Friend Ryan's Mullet
B126Hell Yeah Bruther
B127Who's The Bigger Nerds, Us Or Vault Dweller?
B128Going To Ye Olde Pub Instead Of Watching The Bad Local Metalcore Band
B129Bald Larry Got License Plates That Say "Senpai"
B130Dystopia Is Skramz For Crusties
B131I'm Gonna Whup Varg's Tabletop Rpg Playing Ass
B132Sitting On The Porch Of House Of Tinnitus, Sippin' On Texas Cold Brew With Texas Mike
B1338/19/19; The Day Texas Mike Came Home
B134Cool Beans Let Me Play Cannibal Corpse Over Their P.A.
B135You Play In A Psych Rock Band (No One Cares About The Stupid Visuals You Have To Accompany Your Boring Music)
B136Dune Is Better Than Star Wars
B137The Butt Rock Song
B138A 12 Gauge Shotgun Full Of Our Lord's Forgiveness
B139Derik Can Only Harm You If You Know Of Him
B140Mountain Dew Doesn't Make Your Dick Shrink, I Was Born With A Micropenis
B141Taking A Mighty Push
B142Maggot Stomp Got That Pit Viper Sponsorship And That's Too Cool To Rip On
B143Writing Song Titles At 4:20 Am On Your Day Off Because You're On Some King Shit
B144Hey 1919 Can I Have My Money Back?
B145Oh Yes, Piss Off The Warlock
B146If I Crank The Sharpness And Contrast On My Mediocre Live Concert Photography Everyone Will Love It
B147Paying Any Amount Of Money For One Of Those Straight Edge Watches Is Fucking Stupid
B148Getting Asked To Play More "Customer Friendly Music", So I Put Mortiis On
B149Yes I Am An Admin On Metal Archives, And Yes I Talk To Women
B150We Shitpost Better Than Cruelster
B151Someone Once Called Me You Lord Of The Rings Lookin' Ass
B152Noisecore Is A Better Genre For Straightedge Liberation Than Youth Crew
B153Who Is This Mans Selling Pornogrind And Polish Extreme Metal Bootleg Tapes To Recycled And Not Me?
B154Pubic Floss Is My Favorite Ska Band
B155No Wait, Natural Man Is
B156I Went To A Noise Show On 9/11 And All I Got Was A Dollar
B157No You Don't Need A Gun
B158Tomb Mold Is My New Favorite Hypebeast Streetwear Brand
B159I'm Really Happy Seth Putnam Is Dead
B160Its Still Hilarious Josh From Anal Cunt Died Falling Off An Escalator
B161Tim Morse Got The Shit Kicked Out Of Him
B162Punks Who Cosplay As Darby Crash In 2020 Are Fucking Stupid
B163If I Gather All Of Dragon Ball Z On Vhs, Shenron Will Appear To Call Me A Nerd
B164Derailed Train Full Of Decapitated Oogles
B165Dumpster Diving For Forbidden Knowledge
B166I Miss Oil Spill
B167The Mullet That's Supposed To Save The World
B168Rest In The Arms Of A Dragon
B169Death Metal Was A Scam To Sell Longsleeve Shirts
B170Gun Dudes That Can't Cum Unless Their Wife Named Cindy Is Holding A Glock 7 Gen 3 To Their Bald Spot
B171Imagine Risking Exposure To Covid-19 To See A Soundcloud Rap Show
B172Tanking The Success Of My Noise Rock Band By Coming Out In Favor Of Driver's Licenses
B173The Mans With The Mortician Tramp Stamp Tattoo
B174Oh God No, Not Another Song Sampling Peter Jackson's Dead Alive
B175Your Pop Punk Has Breakdowns And Your Browser Is On A Watchlist
B176None Of Your Gorram Business That I'm Writing A Rutting Noisecore Song About Firefly
B177Firefly Lasted Longer Than I Do In Bed
B178Don't Open The Docking Port, You'll Let The Oboe In!!!!!
B179River Tam Will Kill You With Her Mind
B180Vhs Collectors Are Chill Ass Bros
B181The World Would Be A Better Place If Cookout Was A National Chain
B182You Smell Like You Play In A Grindcore Band
B183The Ballad Of The Egg Punk Demo Cassette
B184Simps Pretend To Like Death Metal To Lay Pipe
B185Your Band Has No Riffs
B186You Play In A D-Beat Band
B187Bodybag Darryl
B188I Was Paid To Take Photos Of An E-Girl, Take That 4chan
B189Average Time It Takes For People To Stop Caring About An Osdm Worship Band That Came Out On 20 Buck Spin
B190I, A 45 Year Old Man, Paid $100 To See David Yow Pull Out His Penis, Not To Talk Bad About My President
B191Amazing How White Drugs Was The Only Good Amrep Band
B192Remembering When The Drummer Of Skeleton Asked Me If He Should Listen To Obituary
B193We Bullied Taco Bell Into Bringing Back Potatoes On 311
B194Ah Yes, Jazz Fusion Covers Of Pokemon Route Themes
B195Harsh Noise Wall Track Using My Scrapped Brake Shoes
B196I Don't "Get" Noise Says The Person Who Likes 100 Gecs
B197Playing Brainbombs At The Function To Weed Out The Weak Friends
B198Everyone Is "We Love And Support You" Until You Threaten To Castrate Yourself With A Sword Your Friend Found In An Alleyway Next To A Car With A Broken In Windshield
B199This Song Is Just An Excuse To Sample Firefly
B200Nice Gatecreeper Shirt You Stupid Fucking Poser
B201"I Miss Going To Shows" Says The Sad Nerd Who Sat Outside During Every Band Smoking American Spirits
B202If Your Band Sounds Like American Football, I'm Kicking Your Fucking Ass
B203I Want To Fight People That Wear Suits In Public
B204Listening To Shadow Gallery To Experience What Dream Theater Would Be Like If They Had A Bass Player
B205Slint Is Just Korn But For Nerds
B206Okay, But What If I Said I've Never Actually Read Lord Of The Rings
B207Effortless Urination Of Bright Yellow Pee-Pee
B208We're Destroying The Baby Right?
B209The Darkest Magik
B210Yautja Is The Funniest Band In Metal, And The Most Handsome
B211Paying A Sex Worker To Just Cuddle Me, I'm Lonely
B212My Fetish Is Watching 30-40 Year Old Guys Imitate Steve Albini On Stage In At A Bar In Dallas, I Cum All The Time
B213Assigned Cowboy At Birth
B214All Hail Our Dork Lord And Master!
B215Beware Of Geeks Bearing Gifts
B216Ancient...Evil...And Hungry
B217Wizard Metal By The Numbers
B218A Harmless Giant From A Foreign Land
B219Survival Of The Thiccest
B220Sizzler Buffet For The Sexually Deranged
B221Yer Gonna Feel My Boot
B222Meat Mountain, Clogging Toilets And Arteries Everywhere
B223The Eye Of The Shitstorm
B224HOT GIRLS WITH SWORDS DOT COM
B225Muffled Sounds Of Gorilla Violence
B226Looking At Your Dungeon Tan I Can Tell That You're A Fan Of Mortiis
B227Yeah, I'd Get The Elf Ear Surgery
B228Keep The Adidas High Tops Free Of Blood Lest Ye Summon The Eldritch God Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
B229When The Reply Guys Swarm In
B230I Saw Rusty From Mental Abortion's Dick In Cabin Fever 2
B231You Play In An HM2-Core Band
B232Onlyfans But It's Just Chalrles Knowles Whuppin' My Ass
B233Thundersnow
B234Rise And False Grind
B235A Great Wizard, Ripping A Fat Bowl To Steely Dan
B236Skinhead But Not By Choice
B237Hanging Out At The Ren Faire With My Fellow Ugly LARPers
B238Noisecore For The Instagram Clout
B239Dark Highwayman, Encountered At Dusk Upon His Steed Named Sempai
B240Remembering When Sawblade Threatened To Strangle Me When I Was 19
B241Getting Fired From My Job As A DJ At A Bar For Playing The Traci Lords Loves Noise Reissue On Breathing Problem
B242I Got Cum All Over My Lone Wolf Audio Maggot Stomp Collab Distortion Pedal T-Shirt So I Ordered Another One
B243Using The Blood On The Eerified Catacomb Cassette To Make A Clone Of U.E. And Have My Own Pet Hypebeast Nekro Black Metal Machine
B244Making Fun Of Other Bands To Hide My Rage That No One Likes My Band
B245Smashing Your Head Into A Master Sword Replica After Laughing At How Stupid A New Infernal Legions Of Mordor Song Is
B246Having Gorenoise Tapes From Breathing Problem Productions Delivered To My Job
B247Are You Really Vibing Or Are You Just Giving Off Deadly Levels Of Ionizing Radiation?
B248We All Have Mustaches Now
B249Mute The Sword
B250We're Tall, You Aren't
B251Oh, Great, Another Band With Parker Lawson Doing Vocals
B252Temporary Secretary By Paul McCartney Started Egg Punk
B253We Need More Death Metal Distortion Pedals
B254Matt, "Peavey", Perrin Has A Gun
B255I Have A VHS Collection Instead Of A Personality
B256Kinkshaming Someone For Listening To Brainbombs
B257A Horsedrawn Carriage Full Of Ass
B258Buzzword Death Metal
B259Who Do I Have To Make Fun Of At The Dallas Observer To Finally Get Them To Notice Us?
B260What Isn't Beneath Tom G. Warrior's Beanie
B261Going To Tennessee To Finally Beat The Shit Out Of Thrashhard08
B262Infertile Hails
B263Avantasia Wrote A Power Ballad About Incest
B264Pickles Strutting His Noisecore Clout With A Trans Am
B265How Quickly Will Any Of The Guest Performers On This Regret Being On This Tape?
B266Giant Ass Sword
B267The Only Way To Escape The Grip Of Longmont Potion Castle Is Death
B268This Skullet Is A Poor Attempt To Cover This Red Neck
B269Qui-Gon Epstein
B270Deadbeat Disrocker Dad
B271War Metal Gauntlet With A Rail Of Blow
B272Who Is This Strange Man Who Entered My Keep With A Garment That Reads "RATLORD"
B273Anal Cunt Song Titles That Unfortunately Live Rent Free In My Head
B274Bald Larry Correcting Me About The Avantasia Incest Song
B275Highest Regarded Opinions Of The Tech Death Guitar Player
B276Black Metal Finsta
B277Dr. Alican Koc
B278Thank Fuck The Nerve In This Tooth Finally Died
B279Consuming My Slain Enemy's Heart For His Courage, His Brain For His Intelligence, And Eating His Ass
B280Getting Brain Juices All Over My Livestream Blood Incantation Shirt While Getting A COVID Test
B281You Play In A Perverse Homage Raw Black Metal Band
B282There Is A Box In The Back Of My Bedroom Closet With Dollar Signs Drawn All Over It With Nothing But Mark Winter Demos In It
B283A Trashbag Full Of Blow To Be Delivered To The War Metal Band
B284We're All Poseurs (Especially You)
B285Allegiance Formed With Mountain Of Smoke In The Realms Of Meatcraft
B286Dick Armor
B287Fully Erect Alchemist
B288Your Aluminum Guitar Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore
B289My Ass Is A Furnace
B290O Thank Thee, Guardian Of Metal
B291You Listen To Discharge
B292A Goblin Swinging A Sack Full Of Quarters
B293Great Another Smelly Asshole Who Thinks Video Violence Is A Good Movie Telling Me That Hereditary Sucks
B294Charles Entertainment Knowles, Top Fan
B295You Play Math Rock (And You Suck At It Too)
B296You Told Me 'Look Man, I Put Out Records And Tour' But You Still Can't Write A Riff
B297Getting Targeted Ads For The Thicc AT&T Girl
B298Razor Girl From Brutal Legend Based Sexual Fantasy
B299If You’re Looking For Riffs In Contemporary Music And You Listen To Punk, I Have Bad News For You
B300You Listen To Death Metal (And You Smell Like It Too)
B301I Got A Friend Request From The Guitarist Of Devourment
B302You Listen To Opeth
B303Hanging Out In The Alley Behind J&J's With A Bunch Of Stupid Fucking Metalheads Listening To Celtic Frost
B304Crust Fund Kids Saying They "Don't Even Like Money!" All The Way To Their Parent's Bank
B305Having To Wear A Diaper When You Listen To Disembowelment Because You Keep Shitting Yourself
B306Telling Pantera Fans The South Won't Rise Again
B307My Wizard Hat, Taking To The Wind, Revealing My Bald Spot To The World
B308I Have My Very Own Lime Scooter And A Sword, Fear My Whimsy
B309Hitting The Character Limit On Bandcamp Song Titles
B310Derik The Hobbit
B311Imagine, If You Will, Rick Wakeman Wearing A Cape
B312It Smells Like Loneliness In Here
B313Explaining Anal Cunt To My Boss
B314If You Enjoyed Watching The Movie Martyrs, You Are A Bad Person
B315In Other News I Made A Noise Musician Mad On Twitter
B316This Isn't An Elf Cosplay, I Just Look Like This
B317The Only Time Anyone Cares About When You Pick Up An Instrument Is When You're Playing Cover Songs
B318The Reviews Are In
B319I Am A Late Game Boss That Is Hinted At For Two Thirds Of The Game That Has A Rare One Of One Loot Drop
B320Matt "Peavey" Perrin Demands To Be Sponsored
B321I Can't Believe Sleep Made A Career Off Of Ripping Off Sweet Leaf
B322Fremen For Vengeance
B323How Many Of Those Facebook Likes Did Your Band Have To Buy?
B324Being A Gatekeeper Fucking Rules
B325Starving For A Thirst Trap
B326Oh Good, The Blood Funnel
B327At Night, My Eldritch Supercomputer Crawls Under The Covers For Warmth
B328Selling My Punk Demos Before The Hype Dies Down And Getting Premium Prices On Discogs
B329You Listen To Iced Earth
B330Sometimes I Just Re-Read This List Of Song Titles, Not For Fun, But Because I Have Very Little Going On In My Life
B331Fancy Delights Ov The Void
B332Someone Stop Oyabun666 From Listing Every Punk Bandcamp Release on Discogs, No One Cares
B333Frozen Soul Weightlifting In Eternal Champion Merch
B334The Eldritch And Horrifying Mating Calls Of The Denizens Of 'Dega
B335The Lasting Legacy Of The Aughts Punk Band That Put Out a Demo, An EP And Only Played Fests
B336For Some Fucking Reason, I HAVE To Be THE Most Metal Person At this Estate Sale
B337Watching The Incel Uprising Tank The Stock Market
B338Another Song Where We Use Our Favorite Word, Eldritch, In The Title
B339You Play A PRS
B340Pounding Beers With The Goblin
B341Christopher Lee If You Are Out There And Can Hear Me: Please Haunt Me
B342Keep Your Mage Hand Strong
B343No One Asked Steven Wilson For Those Remixes
B344Hypnotized By ANTIFA Temptresses
B345Deep Within The Eternal Chambers Of The Pizza Dungeon
B346Unfriending Me On Facebook Won't Make Folk Punk Good
B347I'm Gonna Fight Froggy Fresh
B348Another Song To Flex Our Obscure Horror Knowledge By Sampling Bloodsuckers From Outer Space
B349Punk Goes...Country
B350It's Always Sunn O))) In Philadelphia
B351Fear Is The Painkiller
B352We're Available On I Heart Radio
B353You Listen To Comfy Synth
B354Asking The Owner Of Recycled Permission To (Continue To) Haunt Recycled When I Die
B355Sick Caveman Riffs
B356I Would Die 1000 Deaths For Texas Michael, Esq
B357Don't You Hate It When Assholes Break The Magickal Blood Seal
B358I Spit On Your Graveland
B359I Am Not Pausing Neil Young To Listen To This
B360Givin' Them Ghosts A Show
B361You Play In A Youth Crew Band
B362True Black Metal
B363Your Grandma Doesn't Need To Die Because You Couldn't Wait To See Ruptured Goat Anus Gurgle About Sexual Assault
B364Are You Aware Of The Power Of Shadows?
B365Keep Your Blade Held Aloft
B366I Screamed These Vocals Into A Sword
B367Livin' La Vida Don Vito
B368Cockblocked By A Self Proclaimed Shaman
B369You're Bleeding And I'm Tired
B370You Listen To 80's Yes
B371We Are Three Hundred And Three Songs In, Take A Break, You've Earned It Weary Traveler, You Are Almost There.
B372(Where Did) N.T.S.B. Fuckin' Go
B373Automatically Spawned With Blade In Hand
B374Townie Punks Fuck Off
B375Oh Man, Your True Crime And Bondage Themed Power Electronics Bands Must Get You All The Girls Huh Champ?
B376Anything Is A Musical Instrument If You Tape A Contact Mic To It, Duh
B377Not To Get Political Or Anything But Absurd Fucking Sucks
B378Wow, I Really Can't Believe You Have Listened To This Whole Fucking Thing. Whatever Sinks Your Ship
B379Amber Is The Colour Of My Anime / The Closing Ceremonies
LP 2 · SIDE C
C1You Will Never Be Top Fan
C269 Songs
C3Crimson Flood Spewing From The Ruptured Acne Vagarous
C4Ascertain Thineself A Berth With A Duvet Cover, Cease The Playing Of The Emo Phonographs, Then, Perhaps A Female Will Give You Audience, You Fetid Weakling
C5Foul Enchantress Extracting Seminal Fluids From My Gargantuan Rod For Diabolical Sorcery Conducted In The Abhorrent Crepuscule
C6False Individuals Claiming To Be Eldritch And Outlandish, Despite Their Output Being Middling At Best
C7As An Administrator On Encyclopedia Metallum; The Metal Archives, My Very Own Conjecture On The Stylings Of Alternative Music Are Unerring
C8The Trepidation Concerning My Own Demise At The Metacarpals Of A Fluid Soaked Punchinello
C9Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks
C10Gamers Sit Down
C11Nocturnal Emissions Originating In A Carnal Hallucination Enmeshed With Visions Of Matt Berry As The Personification Of Jackie Daytona Slapping My Hams
C12Blissful Passage From This Macabre Simulation Into The Realm Beyond, Which Is Entirely Populated With Buxom Mistresses Armed With The Most Exceptional Swords
C13The Fragrance Of The Most Splendid Spaghetti Emanating From The Wretched Taco Bell Excrement Issued From My Bulbous Anus
C14Bat With A Nail In It
C15You Can Drive My Truck, Just Don't Touch My Stereo
C16Revisiting An Old Idea: George W Bush Garfield Drawing
C17Marco Polo But Instead Of Saying Marco / Polo You Say Scully / Mulder And You Both Close Your Eyes And Run Around In Circles In A Cornfield.
C18Buy A Motorcycle On Credit
C19What’s The Deal With Wine??? What’s Wrong With A Nice Can Of Piss??
C20Brainbombs But Kermit Voice
C21Seeking Elopement Dot Com
C22Golden Hour Is The Best Hour To Get Drunk While Pretending To Read A Book By The Window
C23Life Is A Three Way Switch For Me.
C24The Settings Are "I Want To Die", "I Want To Do Something Stupid", And "I Feel Like God".
C25Next To The Switch Is A Gas Pedal And It's Just Duct Taped Down
C26A Picture Is Worth One Thousand Words But Getty Images Will Only Accept $USD
C27Sitting Outside The Walmart That Banned Me In My Car, Exile On Main St Blasting, Crying... All These Deals Passing Me
C28What If I Hit A Couple Dingers
C29Never Trust A Smiling Cat
C30Big Fan Of The Irish Goodbye, Sometimes You've Just Gotta Wander Off
C31Face / Off Porn Parody Called Jerk / Off
C32Had A Dream I Went To The Jungle To Die
C33My Job At The Chocolate Factory Is To Contaminate Everything With Nuts
C34No Matter How Far An Ass May Travel, He Will Not Return Home A Horse! Amen
C35Mads Mikkelsen Teaches You How To Tie Your Shoes Asmr
C36New Meme Style: You Print It Out And Take A Photo Of Yourself Holding It. You Become The Meme.
C37New Yolk
C38So A Cop's Horse Can Shit In The Street But When I Try To It's All Like "You're Under Arrest And I'm Disgusted With You"??
C39Wilem Dafoe Mode
C40Can You Make Me Look Like David Koresh?
C41My Hair Is So Fucked And Curly Rn I Look Like David Koresh
C42I Need A Robot To Give Me A Haircut
C43What If You Also Went To A Barber To Trim Your Pubic Hair
C44On My Hands And Knees Behind A Running Car Rabidly Huffing The Fumes
C45Busting In My Camo Pants.
C46His App Has Got Me In A Trance.
C47Makes Me Do A Dance.
C48Look At Me Prance.
C49I Love Romance.
C50Take My Payment In Advance.
C51God I Love The Internet
C52I Actually Wrote True Detective Season 1, That Other Guy Took It From Me
C53Life's Hard But I'm Not (I'm Flaccid Rn)
C54Hell Yeah I'm A Member Of The Iron Workers Union, I Lay Pipe!!
C55If I Die In A Freak Accident Delete My Drafts
C56Lifting Dumbbells In Front Of A Banks Front Doors - No One Is Going To Fucking Bank Today
C57What Do You Mean I'm Under Arrest?? This Is A Heat (1995) Cosplay Outfit!
C58British Yoda
C59Waging A War Against My Central Nervous System Today By Lifting Heavy Weights
C60If You Try To Surprise Me After 8pm I Hope You Like Being Struck With Force
C61Sun's Going Down So Put On Neil And Put That Fly Fishing Rod Away
C62Socially Distanced Blowjob
C63The First Title Is About The Sexuality Of The Free Market.
C64Wish I Could Just Wear Coveralls All Day And Hangout In A Studio Fucking Around
C65Leave The Gun, Take The Ravioli
C66Hot Dog Stand But They Sell Expensive Stationary (No Hot Dogs)
C67The Doors But They're Polish
C68Keanu Sex Scene In Cyberpunk Was A Letdown - No Hog Visible.
C69I'm Sick And I Have A Bad Case Of The Farts
C70A Penis Is Like A Small T-shirt Cannon
C71Hey Yeah Can I Get An Xfile?
C72Jeff Dunham And Ray Romano Hold Guns To Each Others Heads
C73Official Brainbombs Etsy
C74Us Soldier Captured By Enemy And Forced To Eat Papa John's Pizza
C75Proof About The Pyramids If Anyone's Interested In How They Were Built
C76This Is A Posting Spree And I Will Not Be Stopped
C77Catholic School Teacher Wearing A Burzum Shirt
C78I'm In The Yard Listening To Undergang, Smashing Rocks With A Hammer.
C79I Need Someone To Take Me To The Hospital Asap
C80I'm Shadowbanned From Krate For Rating An Oasis Album 1 Star
C81Please Send Gold
C82This One's For You (Whoever's Reading This): Keep It Up, I Believe In You!
C838000 Songs
C84Introduction: Gathering Around The Light Of The Fire As The Unearthly And Benevolent Spirits Of The Forest Join Us In This Magik Night
C85My Elf Ears Melted In My Car
C86Ranking Morbid Angel Albums Solely Based Upon Their Cover Art
C87At The Risk Of Taking A Feminist Stance, I Gotta Say Cemetery Rapist Is A Very Bad Band
C88Getting Frostbite During The Texas Blizzard Taking Corpsepaint Photos
C89Don't Tempt Me Frodo!
C90Awaken Me When The Time Is Appropriate To Listen To Type O Negative
C91Venom Enema
C92The Frozen One Awaits
C93Beefcakes Without Borders
C94Nothing More Punk Than A Fast, Casual Italian Eatery
C95The Ancient Spell, Grimly Uttered In The Tongues Of The Old Ones By My Unfortunate Rectum Hours After Eating Spicy Curry
C96Mamma's Selling A Line 6
C97Professor Snape, The World's Favorite Incel
C98The Gate Of No Return
C99The Noise Gate Of No Return
C100My Former Life As A Poser
C101Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
C102Diesel Boner
C103Really, How Long Does It Take To Test A Fucking Compression Pedal??
C104Tormented And Coerced Into Performing A Live Ritual By An Eldritch Forest Spirit, A Pair Of Ghouls And A Weeb
C105How Can I Be Punk When I Have A Severe Skin Allergy To Nickel
C106Freebasing Cringe
C107I Wish My Life Had More Of A Thulean Perspective
C108Daydreaming Giddily About John Lennon Burning In Hell
C109Catfishing Viper
C110Cognitive Ball Therapy
C111Researching The Legality Of Cannibalism
C112Entering And Leaving The Garage Waiting For The Random Encounter Peavey To Spawn
C113Unapproachable Raw Black Metal Legend Purchasing Me Indie Rock Record From My Own City
C114Cursed To Listen To Untold Hours Of King Crimson In The Lair Of Count Progula
C115Asking Raw Black Metal Elite, "You Ever Heard Behemoth?"
C116Buying A Gun From The Drummer Of Savatage
C117Having A Random Encounter With Lord Wurm In Recycled, To Have Him Babble Something Insane And Give You An S Rank Quest
C118Nice 12 String Ric You Psych Rock Playing Poser (I Mean This Unironically)
C119Okay Give Me That Guitar It's Too Cool for You, You Play Psych Rock in 2021
C120Wolves In The Throne Room Posting Emojis (Wolves In The Throne Room Are A Bunch Of Fucking Nerds, Pt. 2)
C121Being A Pornogrind Fan Is Cleaning The Cum Out Of The Grooves On Your Meat Shits Records
C122The Worst Part Of Being An Nsbm Fan (Other Than, Y'Know Being Racist) Is Having To Pretend That Absurd Is A Good Band
C123Like A Macabre Rail Of Silly String A Footlong Cord Of Turds Rope Descends From My Anus
C124And On That Day His Forehead Grew Three Times Its Normal Size
C125Punishing Edm Kids With Neil Young
C126Becoming A Cocaine Cowboy Because You Don't Know What Else To Do With Yourself Now That Burger Records Is Cancelled
C127You'll Cowards Won't Even Play In Standard Tuning
C128Todopoderoso Steals Riffs From Kombat (How DARE They Play An Open E)
C129Ancient Sword Of The Meth King
C130I'm Going To Fucking Fight Vincent Gallo, And I Will Win
C131Successfully Cyberbullied A Child
C132Save A Tele, Kill Your Local Indie Rocker
C133Do You Believe In Magick (Spelled With A "K")?
C134Aerosmith By Choice
C135Another Wampyric And Elusive Black Metal Project With Dungeon Synth Interludes Just Like The Last Five That I Unloaded My Paycheck On
C136That Mountain Goats Song About A Death Metal Band Wasn't About Kombat
C137Jackhammer Dildo
C138Knowing Very Obscure Metal Bands Makes Me A Desirable Person And Fun To Talk To At Parties
C139An Onslaught Of Rotting Monkeys
C140Giving My Album Art The Color Palette Of Black, White And Red So We All Know Its Blasphemy Worship (What The Goat Wasn't Enough Of A Giveaway?)
C141Wretched Crotchspawn Of A Belligerent Oogle
C142Larry Is Bald
C143Cum Ghost
C144The House That Beef Built
C145Time To Start Bullying NFT Artists
C146Critical Race Theory in Power Electronics
C147A Snake With A Mohawk Eating Its Own Asshole
C148I Fear My Earthling Neighbors Have Seen Me Feasting Upon Car Batteries
C149A Group Of Three (3) Or More Peavey Combo Amps Is Commonly Referred To As A "Pawn Shop"
C150Honor Guard Of Black Kittens Guide Me As I Carry This Pile Of Bones Home
C151If You Feel Your Rectum Begin To Leak Feel Free To Challenge Me To A Battle Of Intellects On Facebook
C152Eno-Pilled
C153Morgan's Song
C154An Ode To All The Small Creatures Of The Night (And Their Mystic Weapons)
C1552nd Split In A Year With A Garry Brents Band, Epic
C156Frozen Soul Left The Damn Air Conditioner On Again
C157Gary's March / I Hench For No Man
C158Sudden And Total Loss Of Shpadoinkle
C159The Wild And Severe Psychosis Of The Blonde Brother
C160Sip-Sip-Sipiin' On That Sweet Wine In Charles Brown's Pocket
C161The Reviews Are In
C162Listen To Your Albino Sidekick
C163Murdering Glam Rock Legends
C164Once In High School I Got Dosed With Psychedelics And I Loved Pizza
C165Fred Durst Is An Improved Rebellious Songwriter Than Any Of You Leather Clad Punks
C166148 Songs About Getting Lost In The Misty Woods
C167Cheese Crimes
C168Why Yes, My Dick Is Fucking Small
C169The Night We Whupped Two Knight's Ass
C179Rushing To The Defense Of Hypebeast Death Metal Bands
LP 2 · SIDE D
D1Introduction; The Season Of The Witch
D2Bitten By The Sumatran Rat Monkey
D3Chainsawed Through Your Rotten Jaw
D4Torn Apart For The Reason Of Reanimation
D5It's Not Over Until The Bloodsoaked Teenager Says It Is
D6Alien Force Possessing Farmers To Insatiable Bloodlust
D7Cooler Full Of Unearthly Abominations Hungry For Flesh
D8The Eye Is The Window To The Gory Pits Of Hell
D9Haunted House Strewn With Frat Boy Guts
D10Resurrection Of The Muldoon Man
D11Midas Touch Of Rapid Decomposition
D12Wendigo's Chilli Con Carnival
D13Shengar's Legion Of The Living Dead
D14Stop Killing The Dead, The Living Deserve It
D15Gutted By A T-Rex
D16Too Healthy To Live
D17Ripped From The Womb
D18Great Value Midwestern Zombies
D19Shetaar Goddess Of Gore And The Night
D20The Worst Person On Earth
D21Chained To A Tree And Snot Running Free
D22Cult Of Gay Cannibals
D23Psychedelic Brain Slug
D24Following The Chunks Of A Dying Frat Boy To A Fistfull Of Buckshot
D25The Horror Nerd Saves The Day
D26Through The Silver Screen, Mutating Right In Front Of You
D27Beware Of Posh British Werewolves
D28Spirits Of The Sand
D29Cursed Valley Of The Devilwitch
D30Aligned Deaths, Vengeance From Beyond
D31Great Value George Romero
D32Western Showdown, With Vampires And A Truck
D33Valley Girls At The End Of The World
D34Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 1
D35Crazy German Goresoaked Teenager Pt 2
D36Ringworm Infested Hillfolk Consumed By A Boar
D37Surprisingly Tasteful Movie Being Sampled On This EP
D38Split Up The Middle By Slugman
D39Condemnation Of The Righteous And Sinners Alike
D40The Slippery Rich Eat The Poor
D41From The Future To Murder The Past (Not About The Terminator)
D42The Wise Words Of The Tobacco Man
D43Two Ways To Half A Boomer
D44Nicholas Cage Drug Fueled Fury
D45Necrophiliac At The Micmac Burial Ground
D46Where's My Hug At?
D47The Sample Is The Only Good Part Of This Dogshit Slasher
D48The Bloodsoaked Girl That Escaped From Patrick Stewart's Brain
D49The Sign Is Warning You
D50The Line That Defined Tom Atkins' Career
D51Snakehand And Its Penchant For The Human Jaw
D52Mom Can We Stop And Get Evil Dead? No We Have Evil Dead At Home. Evil Dead At Home.
D53The Ravings Of The Gemini Killer
D54Reasons To Be Wary Of Goths
D55Satanic Grandmothers Disembowel Their Worthless Family
D56There Were Slugs In This Shot Of Malort
D57Not In Front Of The Mutants!
D58Shimmering Goo That Eats You!
D59They Brought Back The Star To Explode
D60Little Shit Becomes An Assistant Serial Killer
D61Fleshprison Of Inter Galactic Serial Killer
D62Aging Beauty Pays The Price Of Pride And Vanity
D63Melting Chunks Of Hobo
D64Degenerate Yelling Teenagers
D65Invasion Of The Body Snatchers Meets The Terminator
D66Texan, Southern Fried Henry
D67The Most Obvious Sample From This Alarmingly Horny Movie
D68Alien Hacked To Pieces By Oscar Award Winning Director
D69Outro; Return Of The Witch
D70The Ritual Is Underway
D71Good Boy Versus The Ace Hardware
D72I REDACTED Robert Dethrage With My Rainbow Painted AR-15
D73Bald Larry Suggesting We Make A NFT, Fuck Him
D74John Petrucci Is Confused About The Distinct Lack Of Female Dream Theater Fans
D75Liking Bolt Thrower Doesn't Automatically Mean I'm A Nerd And Like Warhammer Does It?
D76You Smell Like Salami
D77Making An Sov Movie To Finally Be Made Fun Of By Colton From Rm
D78Slicing A Bigger Asshole With A Scythe
D79Truck Full Of Bubbas
D80The Wound Planet Has An Asteroid Belt
D81If You Meet Danny Conrad, At Tom's Daqueri, He Will Show You Where The Treasure Is
D82You Have Sideburns
D83Can I Buy Coffee In Denton, Texas (Ethically)
D84God I Can't Believe People Are Still Doing The Thing I Don't Like
D85Aggressive Stargazing
D86Those Crystals Won't Remove Your Curse, They're Time Travel Crystals
D87Poisoning A Psychic Vampire
D88Hank Hill Stole My Sword
D89You Are A DJ
D90Goblin Taxidermy
D91Forbidden Elf Glizzy
D92So Where Are The Penis Enlargement Crystals?
D93I Can See That Hot Sauce Senior Didn't Teach You Any Manors
D94Please Take The Hook Off Before Sex
D95Seance With An A.I.
D96Extinction Level Event At Anime Expo
D97I Threw The Dead Rat At Full Of Hell
D98Setting The Vibe By Playing Needle Exchange's 2018 Classic, "Kill Them All With Fentanyl"
D99I Don't Care For The Government But I Do Believe In Mandatory Background Checks For Selling Punks Chorus Pedals
D100I'm Not A Necrophile, I'm A Necromancer
D101Matt "Peavey" Perrin Luring You Into His Lair To Feed You Braums And Force You To Watch Shit That Fucks
D102Ruptured Goat Anus Wants To Do A Split With Us (We're Good)
D103Please Stop Asking Us To Play Shows
D104You Play In Deep Ellum
D105Black Magick: The NSBM Of Wizardry
D106Encountering A Witch In Winco, Accepting The Crystal Gift And Immediately Shitting Myself
D107Mountain Dew Caudron
D108Charles Fucking Knowles II: Shred Season
D109You Eat At Whataburger
D110They Say There's Magick In The Air
D111Asking A Telemarketer If They “Fear Death Yet Also Long For It?”
D112Hardcore Kids Playing Death Metal
D113Orb To Ponder In One Hand, Shotgun In The Other
D114Chekhov's Battle Axe
D115State Sanctioned Furries
D116Department Of Defense Spiritual Warrior Contractor
D117Hey, I Know That We Stole A Disfigured Corpse From The Morgue
D118Then We Brought It To A Cemetery To Perform A Satanic Ritual On It Beneath The Full Moon
D119But We're Now In This Abandoned Mansion Where We Found A Satanic Spell Book
D120So Don't Tell Me You're "Too Creeped Out" To Have Sex Here?
D121Psychic War Draft Dodger
D122Ruining Dylan From Full Of Hell's Career By Making Him Guest On Our Tapes
D123Reanimated Miscarriage The Youth Attack Of Noisecore
D124Elevator Music For Evil Gnomes
D125Dad Wanted A Football Stud, He Got A Sorcerer
D126Bringing My Eight String Guitar On My Date And Playing Meshuggah Riffs Is A Real Panty Dropper
D127Mom Took My Sword Away
D128Noisecore Money
D129You Watch Obscure Horror Movies
D130Kill A Cop, Better Crops
D131You've Got No Friends So You Might As Well Start A Dungeon Synth Project
D132You Keep Asking Trans Siberian Orchestra To Play Savatage Songs
D133Lloyd Kaufman Made Fun Of Me For Collecting VHS
D134She Totally Crawled Out Of That New Hole
D135I Bled On A Keyboard And Fried It
D136Vampyryc Scyences
D137You Modify Your Orders At Taco Bell
D138The Battel Rages On
LP 3 · SIDE E
E1Calm & Ethereal Morning
E2True Black Metal
E3Take A Rest
E4Eno Pilled
E5Castle Siege
E6Drone Ov Battel
E7Gathering Around The Campfire
15 999 ₽
В наличии · Доставка по РФ
Редкая находка для тех, кто давно искал что-то по-настоящему странное, красивое и неожиданно трогательное — виниловый LP «Everyone Is Waiting For The Sunrise» 2023 Edition от загадочного проекта Heatwave представляет собой полноценное погружение в мир, где фэнтезийная эстетика сталкивается с острой самоиронией и неподдельной теплотой.
Саундтрек создан для комьютерной игры, вдохновлённой культурой ролевых игр, дух которых ощущается буквально в каждом треке. Уже одни только названия — «Gollum Was A Crack Baby» или «Larping At The Blind Guardian Concert» — задают тон: это музыка, написанная людьми, которые одновременно обожают и нежно высмеивают жанр, в котором существуют. Heatwave умело балансирует между эпической оркестровкой, синтезаторными пейзажами и почти камерной интимностью — каждая из пяти композиций звучит как отдельная глава в книге, которую хочется перечитывать.
Особого внимания заслуживает открывающий трек «The Electricity In The Air Before A Good Siege» — это настоящий звуковой театр с нарастающим напряжением, а завершающая «The Witch That Lives In The Trees» оставляет после себя ощущение тихого леса на рассвете.
Именно винил позволяет улышать всю глубину и фактуру этих записей — тепло аналогового звука здесь не просто уместно, оно необходимо. Издание 2023 года выполнено в формате LP и будет достойным украшением любой коллекции. Доставка осуществляется по всей России, а сам релиз станет идеальным подарком для любого ценителя игровой музыки и фэнтезийной культуры.
Гарантия качества
Только официальные издания
Бесплатная доставка
При заказе от 10 000 ₽
Доставка по всей РФ
СДЭК, Почта России
Everyone Is Waiting For The Sunrise 2023 Edition — виниловая пластинка с саундтреком Heatwave. Купить Everyone Is Waiting For The Sunrise 2023 Edition на виниле в LP STORE с доставкой по России. Официальное издание из категории игровых саундтреков. Цена: 15 999 ₽.